if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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