Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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