i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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