No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
the liver wants what the liver wants
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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