I am in a vortex of obligation.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
