What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
