I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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