Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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