we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
pop tarts are not kleenex
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
