I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
