i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
soo... how was my night?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
