I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize