on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
