She is in my trunk
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
