Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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