Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
