i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
