The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
