she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
