He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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