i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize