dude i'm inner monologue high
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You took a bar mat shot.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
