I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
