she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
