I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
