Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
