i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
