I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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