Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
