Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Randomize
