A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
