Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
