you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
