I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
