Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I think people are normalizing furries
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
