Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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