idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
