new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
