i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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