Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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