I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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