So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
