I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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