Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
