i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
