There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
