just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
