remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
