I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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