hotel room ftw
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Randomize