So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
