Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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