ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
