If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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