I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
