So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize