All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I can't put those talents on a resume
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
