How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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