Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
