Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
