so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
