I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
