You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
