Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Are we in a gay sports bar?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
